


Unraveled

by shions_heart



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Blood, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, First Kiss, M/M, Vore, could probably be rated T but I went with M just to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 16:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20361226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shions_heart/pseuds/shions_heart
Summary: "Kaneki, I want to save you. Please, eat me."(What really, probably, happened within the sewers that day.)





	Unraveled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Agdistis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Agdistis/gifts).

> For Jordan, who's an enabler.

there's no turning back now i know i'm paralyzed  
i'm trapped inside this paradise and with this parasite  
i'm falling victim  
remember who i was

\-- animenz, _unravel_ (unknown songbird translation)

* * *

“Eat me.”

Water drips down the walls of the sewer, as Kaneki stares. He can hear the sound of each drop as it hits the shallow river they’re crouching in, slow and loud, echoing through the corridor.

_Plick._

_Plick._

_Plick._

He thinks he misheard him. He must have. He’s still not even completely convinced this all isn’t some sort of hallucination or nightmare. Blood rushes in his ears, like waves crashing against a shore, filling every space in his head. Beneath that, a heartbeat.

_Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum._

He can’t tell if it’s his or Hide’s. His breath is ragged, each inhale sparking pain that ripples through his body, like sharp knives dragging across his wounds. He trembles and can feel the blood drying on his face. But his stomach, the ache curling within it, still cries out for his attention, needy, starving. With effort, Kaneki manages to pull his focus back onto his best friend, as he struggles to understand what’s happening.

“Kaneki, I want to save you.” Hide had said. Before adding, “Please, eat me.”

Kaneki shudders, bile rising in his throat. He lifts his gaze, staring into the face of his best friend, Hide, who looks back at him with such an open and honest expression, it causes Kaneki’s chest to tighten.

“Hide . . .” he manages to croak out. “What are you saying?”

He can’t mean it. He can’t be asking this of him. How could he possibly do something so . . . so _horrible_? And to Hide? Everything inside him recoils, rejecting the notion, even as his stomach clenches in a terrifyingly familiar way.

Hide’s lips twitch just slightly before he speaks again. “There’s this crazy guy just beyond here . . .” He glances over his shoulder before looking back at Kaneki. His hand on Kaneki’s back curls, fingers digging into his clothes. “You can’t run. You will . . . lose there. You might even die.”

Kaneki watches, as Hide seems to steel himself, inhaling slowly, as his back straightens. His hand moves from Kaneki’s back to his shoulder, and he holds it firmly, looking directly into Kaneki’s eyes. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t waver. For so long Kaneki has been afraid of Hide knowing what he is, of hating him, fearing him. But he knew. He knew, and now he’s . . .

“That’s why I’m going to show you that you’re worth saving. Worth living.” Hide shifts closer, moving his other hand so that he’s grasping both of Kaneki’s shoulders, settling on his knees in the water directly in front of him.

Kaneki stares back at him, confusion and pain and horror and hunger all swirling within him, twisting like vines around his lungs, his heart, squeezing steadily and cutting off his air. He can feel the panic starting again, his brain scrambling to try and come up with something, anything, to convince Hide that this isn’t worth it. He’s not worth it. No matter what Hide might say, Kaneki can’t . . . he won’t . . .

A gentle touch on his cheek brings Kaneki back to the present, the sounds surrounding him once more, closing in.

_Badum-badum-badum-badum._

Hide smiles, tilting his head to the side, as his hand slowly pushes Kaneki’s mask up onto his forehead and then off completely, setting it in the water beside them. The current carries it away from them, but Kaneki can’t take his eyes from Hide. He moves his hand back, warm and just a bit calloused against Kaneki’s face, as his thumb runs over his cheekbone, beneath his kakugan.

“I’m sorry, but . . . can you give it your all just one more time?” he asks, earnest, pleading, filling Kaneki’s vision, as he leans forward.

Kaneki’s shallow breath catches in his throat, as he watches Hide’s face move closer and then closer still. He squeezes his eyes shut, and remains completely still, his fingers pressed against the cold stone beneath the water, as a warm exhale ghosts over his lips. Hide hesitates for just a moment, allowing Kaneki time to pull away, but Kaneki can’t move, can’t do anything but shake all over.

Hide’s lips press against Kaneki’s, soft and tender. Kaneki’s never thought about kissing Hide before, had no idea that Hide saw him in this way. So much time they’ve spent apart since Kaneki became a ghoul, the distance growing, secrets being kept, and yet . . .

Here he is, materializing before him like a guardian angel, when Kaneki needs him the most.

Slowly, Kaneki lifts his hand. It trembles, as he sets it against the side of Hide’s neck, moving it back just enough for the tips of his fingers to slide into the soft strands of his best friend’s hair. He moves his lips, slotting them between Hide’s as he returns the kiss, and he can feel the shiver of Hide’s next exhale against his cheek.

Kaneki shifts forward, deepening the kiss, as he feels the hunger start to move within him, gnawing at his insides, scratching and clawing its way out. His fingers bury themselves further in Hide’s hair, curling into it, gripping firmly, and Hide makes a small noise. The thudding of his heartbeat grows louder in Kaneki’s ears, or maybe it’s his own, pounding faster and faster, as he nudges his tongue against Hide’s mouth. It parts for him immediately, welcoming him eagerly, and then Kaneki tastes him, warm and sweet. Hide’s tongue meets his, and the kiss grows to an intensity that surprises Kaneki, but he doesn’t back down from it and finds himself moving forward again, pushing Hide further into the water as he straddles his waist.

Hide’s hands rest against his hips, holding him gently, even as Kaneki’s fingers clench tighter in his hair, his other hand pressed against Hide’s chest. He trembles, as the hunger surges, the ache tearing a hole through him, screaming to be filled.

_I can’t. I can’t!_

Even as his own mind cries out to stop it, his teeth sink into the soft underside of Hide’s lower lip. It pierces through and blood fills Kaneki’s mouth, as Hide’s hands tense around him like a vise. He doesn’t make a sound, though, even as Kaneki feels his control slip away.

_No. No, please. Please, no. Not Hide. Not him._

His chest seems to squeeze tighter and tighter around his heart, and he can feel the tears burning at the corners of his eyes escape, coursing down his cheeks in warm rivets that mingle with the blood pouring into his mouth and down his chin.

As his teeth begin to rip and tear into the soft, delicious skin, Kaneki retreats, pulling himself away from the grisly scene, into that space deep within his mind. That safe place where he doesn’t have to witness the horrors in front of him, done to him, and by him. It’s dark and quiet, all sounds fading.

He brings Hide with him, as if to spare him the pain, even though deep down he knows it’s just his own mind, and he can’t save Hide from this, from him.

Kaneki holds his best friend close, as close as he can, as he kisses him again and again. Hide’s arms wrap around his back, one hand moving up to bury in Kaneki’s hair.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Kaneki gasps.

“Don’t apologize,” Hide says, shaking his head, even as he grins, carefree and happy, just like Kaneki remembers him always being. He’s radiant, even in the darkness that surrounds them. “Just go and kick that crazy guy’s ass for me, okay?”

Kaneki stares at him, wondering how he’s supposed to do this. How is he supposed to go on without Hide?

“I’ll always be here,” Hide assures him, moving his hand to brush the white strands away from his eyes. He’s still smiling, confident in his words. He taps Kaneki’s temple with two fingers. “Right here.”

“Promise?” Kaneki pleads, looking into Hide’s eyes, searching for any hint of deception.

But Hide’s expression is open, and his smile shifts into something fond, tender, as his fingers trail down Kaneki’s cheek. “Duh,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Kaneki kisses him once more. Hide returns it immediately, fingers sliding back to cradle Kaneki’s head. Kaneki can feel himself start to shake again, and he does his best to stay focused on this, this moment he’s created in the dark recesses of his mind, where reality can’t touch him.

Hide is still here. He’s still with him. Kaneki clings to that, to him, as the kiss deepens and grows, until they’re both breathless, lips bruised and sore but still moving, still desperate. Kaneki feels Hide’s tongue, tastes it with longing, moves against it with his own. He grips his hair, his back, even as the darkness begins to creep towards them.

_No. Not yet. Please._

He continues kissing Hide, disregarding the darkness looming, ignoring the way it begins to slide over him. As he feels it make its way up his body, tugging at his skin, unraveling him from his legs to his waist to his torso, he pulls back from Hide, opening his eyes to look at him. He holds his best friend’s face in his hands, as he sets their foreheads together.

“It’s okay, Kaneki,” Hide says softly, sounding far away. “You can let go.”

_No, I can’t. I need you. Hide . . ._

The darkness overtakes him.

When he wakes, he’s slumped against the wall, half-submerged in the cold water. It moves slowly over him, tugging at the tattered bits of his clothing. He can taste the sweet, coppery tang of blood in his mouth, and he sits up slowly, wiping at his face. The physical pain from before is gone. As he looks down at his body, he can see that his wounds have healed, all of them. He feels stronger. The deep ache in his stomach and the voices clamoring in his skull are silent, sated.

Kaneki takes a couple deep breaths to steady himself, before he lifts his head to look for Hide’s body.

He’s not there.

As Kaneki glances around, he sees that Hide isn’t anywhere. He’s completely vanished, as though he truly had been just an illusion, never there in the first place.

Kaneki sits in the quiet shadows, alone, as water drips down the walls of the sewer.

_Plick._

_Plick._

_Plick._

**Author's Note:**

> So, I know the manga has been over for, like, a year. But I only just found out about Hide and Kaneki's reunion, and the reveal of the damage done to Hide's face, and I said to Jordan that the two _must_ have kissed in the sewers that day because, and I quote, 
> 
> "You don't eat your best friend's _whole mouth_ without kissing him first."


End file.
